Quick blog post today – What is the difference between a people person and a people pleaser? A people person is someone who has no problem mingling with, talking to and dealing with different kinds of people. He/she enjoys it and often feels his/her world empty and boring without an active social life. Doesn’t necessarily mean that a people person doesn’t value or look forward to his/her alone time. Yet life without the buzz of people around him/her often makes it a tad boring and un exciting. I am a people person! I love knowing different kinds of personalities, took me a while (a long while) to figure out how to draw the lines, set the boundaries and read personalities. For me limits were overrated and annoying until I figured (and still figuring) a balanced perspective but in a nutshell, I find so much joy in listening to different stories and conversations, being in a crowd and entertaining an active social life. Friendships for me are ongoing learning experiences that unravels life in different phases as I grow and experience its differences, challenges and beauty.
Which brings me to my next thought, who is a people pleaser? Someone who would go out of their way to please the people around them, make them feel comfortable and happy. How bad does this sound, it really doesn’t! No matter what faith base does one belong to (Islam in my case), God always instructed us to be kind to one another, help one another and share kindness even with the smallest act of charity…a smile! And even without relying on any religious faith base, the basic concept of humanity comes down to the kindness of human interaction mutually.
Yet, recently I grasped that without us knowing or realizing, or maybe with us labeling our own actions under kindness, sincerity or love…we can easily confuse the concepts together. Unfortunately, people pleasing could at times end up hurting in a way (not necessarily a dramatic way), if met with rudeness, ungratefulness or even worse…taken for granted! The reflection of meeting some beautiful (and not so beautiful lol) human beings and many conversations lately clarified this clear yet hidden fact to me. It is funny how we mirror our parents in ways when bringing up our kids, yet reflect on our own personal apprehension in the same time without knowing. We would teach our kids to be kind like our parents did, yet add our own two cents to it that not everyone will appreciate, we would tell them to be there for one another yet add…pick your surroundings carefully for not everyone is as nice and kind as we want them to be. While the world around us is moving, buzzing and talking, the answers lie in our mind all along.
May the happiness in our hearts remain forever alive, may we wake up every morning excited to have something to look forward to, may we give without expecting anything in return and stop giving (especially ourselves) when Un-appreciation is the return. May we always strive to find the balance in life, and learn from the Un-balanced times. May the kid inside us keep jumping, running and playing happily and the adult in us keep finding the way while making the best of it… Happy Saturday everyone:)
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I am a people pleaser and it has caused untold grief at times because I have felt used and abused. Once people have gotten what they want they bugger off and don’t want to know me. I have had to learn to say ‘no’ which is also hard because then I get abused as well. I just help those who I think are sincere and excuse myself from those who use me.