We always joked with our kids that when we signed up to be parents and had them, God gave us super powers! Super powers that help us make save the world every day…their world…their day. What they don’t know is that these super powers are technically speaking being tested daily, in different shapes and forms!
The morning daily hustle is no stranger for any home with kids, the struggle to get up on time, get everything ready, get to school…all this during a time crunch and preferably associated with a stress free zone! Ha!
I woke up today with a chronic back pain that I am pretty sure my chiropractor will hate me for waiting too long to address it! I attended to my youngest baby changing her diaper, multitasking and fixing my other daughter’s hair to look pretty for spring pictures, going through my work and personal to do list in my head…all this while watching my oldest son rolling his eyes and making faces whilst getting ready for school! The kid has an attitude! Normally, I would instantly parent and discipline! Drop everything I am doing and solely focus on how his manners should be put in check. It was all prepared in my mind… the morning lecture! I was going to tell him that life would have been much easier if he actually prepared his clothes the night before, set the alarm and woke up on time or better yet brushed his teeth while he is washing his face to avoid several trips to the bathroom. Instead, I smiled and paused while looking at him! One of the super powers was surprisingly selectively chosen that moment and I managed to talk to him quietly and embrace his frustration with the daily routine. Something reminded me that moment that this was the stress I missed! I really really missed! Not that I don’t get tired or burnt out a lot! But that moment this morning with him walking out of the room rolling his eyes reminded me of how life’s pace is so fast and it kind of put everything in perspective.
For years I had to live seeing and living physical and emotional pain daily through my son’s eyes and body, his battle with cancer was so distinctively clear and seen everywhere! Bruises on his body meant low platelets from chemo not a happy play date where he fell while playing, pale skin meant the need for another blood bag not a regular virus caught from school, his hairless head was a topic that we discussed normally, the extra outdoor breeze was a scare for us just in case it got him sick, the person sneezing a mile away was enough for us to leave the place and sterilize like heck for the rest of the day! His face mask became a part of his outfit, all that and much more was just a hint from how our life with active cancer was! Just like any other daily hustle, cancer is a part of our lives and lived in every corner of our house, occupying every second of our days.
Today, and through the daily morning hustle I remembered how much I missed stressing over how hectic life was running around with the kids, I missed stressing over how the house is a mess because they played and didn’t clean up, I missed stressing over how my last date night was a few weeks ago and that it was then considered too long! I missed stressing over which classes to sign up the kids in and that we had too many activities going on, too much homework to handle and too many parties to attend! I missed stressing over being tired from being a working mother and how bed time sounded so magical after a long hectic day. But another super power was tested not too long ago, the super power of being able to shut down all exhausted emotions when they over flow and tell yourself: I don’t have time now! I can break down later. The super power to be in a constant fighting mode with no breaks in between! All these super powers and much more were the blessing in disguise teaching me how to accept, appreciate and forgive! Before judging that friend of mine who changed, isn’t the same or haven’t been in touch, that man driving slowly ahead of me because maybe his mind is occupied, that lady in the store who couldn’t smile back because maybe she is too tired of pushing herself to smile every day….it taught me that my challenge might be the biggest for me but that everyone out there has a challenge! God only gives us what we can handle.
I probably will never know why we were chosen for this test, why my family was selected amongst many others to go through childhood cancer, I do know that I have absolutely no choice in picking and choosing what life throws at us, but I also know that we have the choice to live up to God’s faithful good standards, accept life and go through it while reflecting and constantly improving.
And as crazy as this might sound…. I am loving and embracing my stress these days! I am grateful for it! I am grateful for him rolling his eyes, for me being burnt out from endless mommy tasks, for the constant battle to balance life, for the daily hustle with normal stuff, for the side effects that cancer left us! All this and much more is considered a blessing compared to dealing with and living cancer! It is tough, exhausting and draining at times, and it is not usually where we are now but mainly where we were before! The memories that flash back regularly (Thanks to Face book for that as well! Ha) can sometimes drag the current present and hinder it from moving forward, which is another lesson that my stress taught me. Live the current stress! Learn from your past but don’t dwell on it!
My stress one day was a dream for me, yet my stress today is a blessing for someone else!
Embrace your stress, deal with it, because my friend…
Your stress… is someone else’s blessings!